the funeral was fucked up and painful. I can't stay at my parents right now. My step brother who I havent seen in years is coming tomorrow so I hope to get back in time to see him.

well. I'm home to get clothes for the funeral. I have been home since yesterday. I threw myself into some maintenance around here on the site while I've been home to take my mind off of things.

My mother died in my arms. One of the last things she said was she whispered "I love you" in my ear a few mornings ago. Joe and I have been shooting up all her dillaudids... it's the only comfort we have.

This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I am very hopeless feeling. I just don't know about a world without my mother in it. She was the most beautiful person there's ever been. EVER.

I'm going back for the funeral tomorrow.

oh god. I got the call. the chaplin was there. my mom is unconsious. Im going to stay until the end. dont know when ill be back online.

pray for me and pray my mom goes to heaven, please.

My mom came to town today and I went out with her. I had to hold her up everywhere we went. She's getting so weak. I feel like I'm getting weak with her. She's doing everything she can for everyone around her before she goes. Buying everyone presents, and trying to tell them thing's she's learned from her life.

All I can do is cry anymore. I'm wondering if I should put this site on hold or something.

Which Anna Nicole show character are you?
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Merry Xmas eve morning! Heh. I just posted a bunch of reward pics in the forum for y'all. Thank you to all who've been giving me the xmas lovin! alyo, hiddeny, rickis, dark, wun2. Yea! There's still lots of time to send me amazon certificates, and victorias secret certificates!!! Quick links to do so on my tribute page *big hopeful smile*

Yea as you can see I changed the layout of the main page, some of the areas (such as the tribute page) are going to look a little off center until I take care of them. NO JUDGING!

Im off to xmas shop with my parents and then do some family chillin. My momma...*sigh* this is probably her last xmas. What the fuck.

I am so not impressed with this morning. I need to fucking go shopping, and I can't. God DAMMIT. *pissed off*

I feel like fucking SHIT today man.
A bunch of shitty shit happened this morning...*sigh*...why why why.....WHY!?!?!?!?
Im hiding in my bedroom with a bunch of candles and stuff, watching friends, laptopping on the bed. *sigh*
at least I look cute.

hahah whoa me and andrea got so trashed last night. I think thats like the first time shes ever stopped drinking before me though *hehe*
we're sposed to go to a movie today but she hasn't woke up yet, GARG! I added some new stuff to my amazon list this morning :D

Chillin wit JOHN and TIM (woo)