For reasons that you'll not be made privy to, I was feeling snotty and *grr* today, and decided I'd 'show em' by going out and going bar hopping by my little selfy today.
I was in this place, where there were lots of old southern dudes. Some were like fourty. Some were older. I ordered a BUD ICE, yes, a bud ice.... and this fucking dude came up to me, and he told me his name was teeim. And I was like... "Tee im?" cause I thought maybe it was some... funky name I'd never heard of... Then he spelled it T I M. (normally I'm really good at getting through drawl, but this guy's was intense, I apologize, I'd already had a few glasses of wine). ...anyway. I let this guy babble at me, and I got a line in here and there. Then he invited me out back to smoke a joint, obviously I went.
Tim started telling me we should go somewhere and drink some hard booze together. I reacted by loudly blurting "I am not a hooker Tim". All the old white haired dudes who I was standing in a circle with... getting fucking high with... laughed at that. It was fun shooting the shit with a bunch of like SOUUUTHERN fuckin old country dudes. I was all 'ya Im from california but I lived in Minnesota for awhile and was in new york and wisconsin before I came here'. There was lots of smirking going on. During the rest of the outdoor smokey experience I repeated multiple times "I am not a hooker Tim" to the delight of all of the good ol' boys. They kept smoking big shit they said they got in california. This one who kept calling me 'dear' wandered behind me and perused my ass exlaiming 'daddys girl!' at my tattoo. I called him a dirty old man, he told me I was right. Tim asked me if I wanted him to go get my beer off the bar and I said Id go get it myself. He said he was going to LEAVE, so I said I'd escort him in at the same time. I thanked the freaky old dudes who smoked me up.
Once I got inside and sat down to continue my beer, Tim starting blabbering and blabbering and BLABBERING on me. I couldn't fucking understand half of his ... jibber jabber. The bartender, the only other female in the place, started giving us looks, because he was being loud. She looked disgusted by him, and all of a sudden I felt like I was associating with the wrong person. I don't want her thinking Im some wack ho. Then he fucking spilled his beer. Ugh. He cleaned it up, babbled loudly, blah blah blah blah blah. He went and started a pool game with someone, and was saying all this dumb shit trying to keep me interested in what he was doing. When he wasnt looking I motioned the bartender chick, (an unattractive thin older woman with a name thats such a hilarious cliche, I really wish I could relay it to you) over and she gave me an uninterested look as she took my five dollar bill. I yapped 'Im taking off' and ran out the door before she could give me my change. Tim ran up to me as I stalked out the door, and I said 'I'll be right back!' and he was all 'uhghhh OKAY' heh. Ick. I had' to walk home, uphill, all fucking drunk and paranoid that someone might be trailing along behind me. Also, the whole time I walked TO the bar, and FROM the bar, shitloads of mexicans kept slowing down in their trucks and hooting at me saying 'hey hey hey hey hey' because apparently the illegal alien types think any female walking alone is a ho. Either that or I just look like one. *smile*
I called Joe while I walked away from the bar. There was a dog barking at me from a fenced in area at an autobody. I was all 'its okay cutie, its okay!. Jesus christ. Im all fucked up, I got home a little while ago, and Joe is reading over my shoulder angrily asking random questions. ...and lighting another. *drunk ass bitch*
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